I'm tired, shaking, and just when I think my eyes are dry, a new wave of tears hit me. I won't be able to sleep until I put all my thoughts into words though, which is why this happened.
I miss my mom, you, my sister, brother, Virigil, dad, everything.
Never did I want to make you feel like I didn't want you. I love you so fucking much and I know you have the ability to become whatever you want, which is why I get so irritated when you do these things to yourself. You deserve to live a successful, happy life, and I know eventually you'll get there.
We've been through a lot, and even though I said it seems pointless, I know it's not. I wouldn't trade one of those moments, whether good or bad, for anything. We're all made up of our past, present, and future, and I wouldn't change my past for anything. If I could redo life I'd do everything the exact same way. Although, I'd try to make myself less bitter and more understanding. Nothing we've been through was pointless, and I'm sorry for even insinuating they were. I know this isn't pointless either. I know we'll grow from this and it'll only make us stronger.
When something exciting happens to me the first one I want to tell is you. You're the only one who will listen to me when I complain about how much of a bitch my sister is being, or when I just can't stop talking about a certain boy. If I lose you, who am I gonna tell these things to? I really can't thank you enough for being there for me, even when I made it very hard to stick around.
I was stupid and selfish to say I'd give up on you. I won't, for as long as I live. I really started thinking and I realized that you can never give up on family. You've got to be there for them, whenever they need it. That's why they're called family.
Honestly, I don't know why you put up with my shit. I don't know how to let things go, and I make everything seem worse than it really is. We all fuck up, but in the end those fuck ups help sculpt us into better people. I'm just glad I can be here for you when things like this happens. It's nice knowing there's someone out there on your side. Thank you for being on my side.
In the end, we'll all find where it is we're going. I have so much faith in you and I'm so very proud of you. Even though you've had a setback or two, you've accomplished so much. You've molded yourself into a great person, and I'm honored that I could be part of that.
If you fall off the bandwagon, or stray from the path, just know that I will always, always, be here to pick you back up again.
Thank you for never giving up on me, and I promise to never give up on you.
I will be here for you, always.
I love you.
BFF.
Some say that time changes. Best friends can become strangers, but I don't want that. No, not for you. If you just stay with me we can make it through.Love,
Me.
